Smut Saturdays #5 – Phone Sex

Every fourth Saturday, I’ll be posting erotica I’ve written, based loosely on my own real life experiences or fantasies, for your wanking enjoyment. If you’ve got any feedback or requests, put ’em in the comments or hit me up on Twitter @KinkyAutistic!
This one is particularly special because I wrote it years ago to accompany a fanfiction I was writing. I’ve changed the names and some details but I will be thoroughly impressed if you can name the source fandom!


Ben

He was actually… this was actually happening… fucking hell…

I took another deep, steadying breath. I had been taking a lot of those in the past few minutes, but I couldn’t really help it. I was shaking hard, my entire crotch was pulsing like it just wanted to get free… “Are you going to be a good boy for me, Ryan?”

I heard him moan again through the phone. Oh, god, that was hot… “Y-yeah…”

“Good,” I purred, pressing the phone between my cheek and shoulder and reaching down to just squeeze my crotch just a little, biting hard into my lip. I wanted to last as long as possible for Ryan, but I didn’t fancy my chances with him making noises like that, clearly enjoying himself a whole lot… and just to think about what he was actually doing… “Now, what are you wearing?”

“Jeans… and boxers… why?” He was already shirtless. Mmmm. That would come in handy.

I squeezed a little harder, the other hand absently brushing over one nipple. I usually just stroke my dick until it stops bothering me, but tonight was a very special occasion that I wanted to make the most of. “Could you take them off for me?” I asked softly, listening to his gorgeous little grunts and the shuffling of fabric. “There’s a good boy…”

He moaned again. “I… I like when you…”

“When I call you a good boy?” I heard a noise that was clearly an agreement, and more soft panting. I was going to explode soon, but I was determined to be selfless. “When I call you my good little boy, doing as you’re told for me…” He moaned again, higher in pitch and volume… “Would you mind if I did what you’re doing?”

“N-no… go ahead… ah, ahhh…” Ryan managed to force out. I think he was having some issues with words, and I didn’t blame him. I could hear his hand on his cock now, and he was getting faster and faster. “Just… tell me about it?”

“Of course,” I said smoothly, shimmying off my jeans and underwear, not even bothering with my shirt – washable, or replaceable, anyway – and settling back comfortably against my pillows, phone still in hand. “Can you slow down for me a little? Wouldn’t want you getting carried away, at least not yet…”

Ryan’s breathing slowed a little and the almost-squeaky moans subsided a bit. I tried not to mind too horribly; after all, they would be back in full very shortly. “S-say things…”

“Say things? Does my good boy want me to say dirty things in my sexy voice?” I teased, starting to stroke my cock slowly, inhaling sharply when my hand first closed around it. “You want me to tell you what I’m doing?”

“Mhmm, please,” he almost whined, and I bit my lip. Keeping myself from coming was going to be something of a challenge, but I could do challenges. For Ryan, I could do anything.

“I’m stroking my throbbing cock to the thought of you,” I murmured, squeezing a little more, “and listening to you touching yourself for me like the good boy you are…”

“C-can I… I wanna… finish…” He sounded so cutely embarrassed that I had to bite back a chuckle. “I-I mean…”

“Go ahead, Ryan, come for me,” I whispered, tilting my head back against my wall as I listened to him moan and then gasp, his breathing deliciously heavy. “Does that feel good?”

“Y-yeah… Ben…” Moan my name like that again, fuuuck… “Ben, I want you to fuck me.” Or that… fuck, fuck… “Do you want to fuck me?”

I nodded frantically before remembering why I was clutching a phone in my free hand. “Yeah, yes, I do…”

“I’m not such a good boy really,” he said slowly. “If I were, I wouldn’t have started touching myself for you, would I?”

“Y-you’re trying to show me up…” I ground out, thinking that maybe I should stop touching myself, and touching myself anyway. “You want me to come faster than y-you did…”

“Shhh,” he said, and I shhhed, biting my lip and continuing to stroke as slowly as I could bear. “It’s a shame you aren’t here, I’ve got cum all over my stomach and no way of getting rid of it…”

“Lick it up yourself?” I suggested. I’d done it from time to time. It was all right, nothing special, but I was pretty convinced that Ryan’s cum would taste like the nectar of the gods themselves, only significantly less holy. “If you want, I mean…”

“It’s not bad,” he cut me off thoughtfully, in a voice that sounded like he had approximately two fingers in his mouth. Oh fuck, that was hot… “I think yours would taste better though. Now, lie back, and get ready to take orders.” I found myself dazedly thinking Yes, Master as I lay back, heart and dick throbbing in sync. “You’re going to do everything I tell you to do, understand?”

Oh, I like this…


Ryan

I had absolutely no fucking clue what I was doing, and I was thoroughly enjoying it. “Faster,” I said for about the five hundredth time, still lazily running fingers up and down my own shaft. “Still having fun?”

A series of incomprehensible moans and gasps followed that I took to mean yes. This phone sex this was a lot more fun than I had ever thought it could be. Ben clearly agreed, managing to murmur a faint “Ryan” as he kept going, listening to my voice and probably paying no attention to the actual words.

“You know what I want, Ben?” I asked, not expecting an answer. “I want you to fuck me until I can’t even walk. I want it slow and agonising at first, then fast and rough until I’m screaming so loud that the whole street knows what you’re doing to your good little boy.” I couldn’t even begin to describe how hot it was when he called me that. “You want that?”

“So… so bad,” he hissed. “Ry, I’m gonna cum –”

“Go on. Everywhere, like you would on me. You want to see me covered in your cum?” I asked, stroking myself a little faster. I wanted me covered in his cum. I had realised in the past thirty seconds or so that I really liked the idea of rough, messy sex, and it seemed that Ben enjoyed that idea too. I heard him cum, heard it splat on his stomach, and bit my lip. Oh, that was hot…

He chuckled. “Know what, Ryan? I think it’s your turn to take orders.” Gladly, I think I was kind of shit at giving them so maybe this will suit me better anyway. “Are you touching yourself right now?”

“Mhmm…” I admitted, looking down at my twitching erection and blushing a little. “Why?”

“Stop.” His commanding voice is unfairly sexy, I thought, taking both hands away from my dick in spite of the desperate need to get it down. “Now kneel up on your bed.” Somewhat puzzled, I did as told, phone between my shoulder and ear. “Suck on your middle finger.” Now I was beginning to get it… I followed the order, noticing just how much I liked following orders when a little bit of precum dripped onto my sheets. “Can you guess what I want you to do?”

“You want me to f-finger myself,” I muttered, already reaching behind myself. I’d never done this before, and I was terrified, but excited, as my dick was all too keen to remind me.

“That’s right,” his voice, fuck, “I want you to finger your tight little ass for me. Do you want to?”

I nodded slowly. “Mhmmm.”

“You want to fuck yourself for me, don’t you?” I moaned, pushing my finger in slowly… “Close your eyes, Ryan. It’s my finger. My finger in your ass, getting you ready for something bigger…”

“Ben,” I whined, “fuck me…”

“I will, Ryan. Where do you wanna be fucked?” he inquired almost casually. I wondered briefly whether he was still touching himself, but I was kind of distracted by my finger in my ass. “And how?”

I had been thinking about this for long enough to provide an answer instantly. “Your huge bed,” I breathed, “and hard, rough… I want you to punish me…”

“You’re a kinky little thing, aren’t you?” I loved that voice he did, like he was purring… mm… “Would you let me tie you up?”

“Y-yeah…” I moved my finger a little faster, moaning a little louder, shaking a little harder… “And… bite me… pull my hair… fuck…”

“Swear a little more for me, Ryan, it really turns me on.” I could barely even think, let alone form words. “Come on. Say, “Fuck me, Ben.””

“F-fuck me, A-ahhh… Ben…”

He chuckled again. “Beg,” he said shortly, and the command in his voice was enough to make me want to fall apart.

“Please… please, Ben, please fuck me, I need it so bad, I’ll do anything…” I shoved my finger in harder, gasping, and wrapped my other hand around my cock again. “B-Ben…”

“Good boy,” he murmured. “Keep going…”

I would keep going, all right. All night, all day, for week…

Finding Your Kinks: A Case Study

Power Exchange

When I first started intentionally seeking out things that gave me sex feelings, as a teenager with a shiny new laptop all their own and a burning curiosity about that burning in my loins, I started with guy-on-guy fanfiction. I was already deeply invested in the Kingdom Hearts and Harry Potter fandoms, and it seemed like erotica about characters I already cared about would be far more engaging than poorly-lit heterosexuals having bad sex on Pornhub. Whilst in a lot of ways not ideal (riddled with misogyny, fetishisation, abuse apologism and deeply questionable grammar), so-called “yaoi fanfiction was the first patently sexy thing I ever engaged with. As well as helping me to realise that I was nonbinary (because I identified so strongly with masculine-of-centre protagonists, regardless of the sexy fictional characters they were boning), my fascination with erotic fanfiction unlocked a number of my kinks before I’d ever even been naked with another person. The Off The Cuffs podcast refers to things like this as being one’s “radioactive spider bite”.

Guy-on-guy fanfic, and especially guy-on-guy fanfiction written by misinformed teenage girls who have never spoken to a gay man in their lives, features power exchange all over the damn place. Teenage girls apparently still haven’t received the memo that gay sex is, y’know, gay, which means that you don’t need a dedicated dick recipient and a dedicated dick deliverer like you do when having hetero PIV. Spreading a misconception like that around isn’t great, but it did mean that there was very often a struggle for dominance taking place before or during sex scenes. I found myself re-reading passages which featured characters being pinned down, lovingly bitten, or otherwise physically overpowered – sometimes more often than the passages which featured actual genitals doing actual fucking. By the time that I was talking to other people about sex (and doing sexy text-based roleplay things), I thought you pretty much had to be a top or a bottom, and by extension, either dominant or submissive. I was taken aback when I learned that some people weren’t into “that kinky stuff”.

Being the nerd that I undeniably was and still am, I took to Google to investigate “kink”, and from there “BDSM”, and from there all sorts of resources that were much more fact-based and accurate than fanfic written by virgins. Erotica was my gateway, sure, but it didn’t tell me how to compose a Yes/No/Maybe list, or what aftercare was, or that wanting to be tied up and gagged while your partner hits you with a flogger does actually count as straying off the beaten path. (Get it? Beaten path? I’ll see myself out.) I found things that made my cunt drip on fanfiction.net, but I didn’t know how to apply any of them in my own sex life until I did further research.

The Daddy Thing

You know that text-based roleplaying I mentioned earlier? Yeah, it turns out that when you identify as a girl (which I mistakenly did until my very late teens) and your nerdy online guy friends find out you have a keen interest in sex stuff, they fall all over themselves trying to add you on Skype. Skype, of course, facilitates more than text-based roleplay. You can video call people.

Enter Blue (not his real name, obviously). Blue was a li’l older than me (eighteen when I was sixteen, an age gap I’ll leave you to draw your own conclusions about), he rocked a dark beard, and he showered me with attention while I went through a messy breakup. (All the breakups that sixteen-year-olds go through are messy. I was not good at communicating, and I still thought I owed it to boys who’d hurt me to let them down gently.)  We had a couple of chatty, fully-clothed video calls before things escalated, and then we were having Skype sex.

I was already okay-ish at Skype sex stuff, having been in a long-distance thing and blossoming into an exhibitionist before making friends with Blue. I wasn’t surprised when he told me to say his name as I orgasmed, or when he wanted me on all fours, or when he wanted me to do things to my nipples. I was, however, surprised when he gasped, “Call me ‘Daddy’!”

I knew that that was A Thing People Did, but only because it was joked about in movies and on TV. I’d called people ‘Sir’ before, and in the moment, I thought ‘Daddy’ was pretty much an equivalent. So I did as I was told, and Blue was very pleased about it.

Later, I returned to Google. I found the term DD/lg, which stood for Daddy Dom/little girl, and I fell down the Tumblr rabbithole. Initially, I was spooked by all the photos of skinny white girls in nappies (I wasn’t that tiny, and I wasn’t – at that point – into watersports in any sense) – but I was drawn to the sheer perverseness of it, the fact that it sent a “This is weird” tingle straight to my clit. I was fascinated by the idea of roleplayed innocence being “corrupted”, and by the idea of being so irresistible that a Daddy figure had to have me even if it was very, very wrong. I also immediately noticed that self-identified ‘littles’ had a great deal in common with me, like a fondness for colouring, a need to be looked after and nurtured, and a desire for power-exchange-filled sex with older, bearded guys.

I was full of trepidation. I had grown up without a decent father figure – my dad died when I was three, after doing the Hokey Cokey in and out of my life for years, and the two partners my mum had after him were evil bastards who shaped me into the people-pleasing, needy, somewhat traumatised kid I was at sixteen. Did being into “the Daddy thing” mean I was fucked up? So many littles on Tumblr were insisting that their kink wasn’t rooted in “Daddy issues” – what if mine was? Would it be unethical to pursue my interest in it? Would it damage my psyche even more?

My advice to you, dear reader, as well as to Past Morgan, is – worry less. You should definitely proceed with caution if your kink has ties to a complicated past or a mental health issue, but don’t fret if your kink doesn’t originate from some vacuum, devoid of any complication or relationship to real life. Most kinks are tied up in psychological weirdness – is it okay to be turned on by being humiliated, when so much of sex positivity discourse revolves around empowerment? (Answer: yes.) Why are people, especially women, turned on by being called sluts in the bedroom? (That’s different for each individual, but it’s basically inextricable from society’s slut-shaming bullshit.) Do women want to submit to men partly because the patriarchy says that they must? (Kate Sloan, of the Dildorks, remarked that in a patriarchal society, most people have Daddy issues of some sort.)

After things came to a messy end with Blue, too, I met another guy, and I explained in full my interest in DD/lg, and my chequered history with actual father figures, and we decided we were going to give the Daddy thing a whirl.

Now, four years on with a different partner, I own a multitude of pacifiers and I sit in my Daddy’s lap to watch cartoons. My kink isn’t entirely detached from the lack of paternal love and nurturing that was present throughout my childhood – but it’s healing, and sexy, and that’s okay.

Masochism

My relationship with pain has been as complicated as my relationship with dads and Daddies. I have a long history of deliberate self-harm, but none of it ever turned me on. The idea of masochism, of having a pain kink, mystified me more than the whole Daddy thing did.

Until I tried it out.

The first time I really enjoyed pain was pretty much an accident. I’d been fucked, hard, by my boyfriend at the time, for maybe the third time ever. When the fucking was happening, I was preoccupied by what was happening to my G-spot – but afterwards, I noticed a deep, bruisey, delicious soreness.

I mentioned it to him over text the next day, and he apologised. I reassured him that I wasn’t complaining – I loved the reminder, the regular ache that whispered “You got fucked yesterday,” deep in my battered vulva. He was turned on by that, though he never identified as a sadist – and we started exploring more by way of hickeys, spanking during sex, hair-pulling and more.

This is probably the most straightforward of my “core” kinks in terms of how I discovered it – it happened sort of by mistake, I liked it a lot, and so I tried different things along the same lines. Still, I grappled with similar doubts to the ones I had about CG/l stuff – what if this was somehow too close to self-harm? What if this made me a “bad” kinkster? Eventually, I came to the same conclusion, too – that kinks can never exist in a vacuum, and that as long as every participant was safe (psychologically and physically) and having fun, I could do whatever I liked with my body – including allowing other people to hurt it.

How did you discover some of your favourite kinks?