Hi! If you’ve found my blog for the first time via this post, my name is Morgan, and I’ve been sex-blogging since March, 2018. I can only imagine you’re here because either 1. You want to start your own sex blog or 2. You don’t, but you’re still really interested in the process of writing and running a sex blog. Either way, you’ve come to the right place! I’m going to share some things I wish I’d been told before starting up a sex blog, and I hope they’re of some use – or just interest – to y’all.
1. You will run out of ideas.
You may think this sounds impossible if you’ve just started to sink your teeth into the idea of sex blogging. “But Morgan,” you cry, “I have so many ideas! I filled two notebook pages with ’em!”
Yes, my beloved, it feels like you have so many ideas that you will never be stuck for inspiration. But then you’ll look at your list of potential blog titles, muttering, “Boring, played out, already covered that topic in a different post, boring, boring, irrelevant now,” until all you have left is some half-legible scribble that appears to only say Dick veins???
The thing is, when you first start thinking about putting together a sex blog, you’ll be excited, and you’ll probably brainstorm a whole bunch of topics that you could potentially write about. But, as that excitement mellows out a little, you’ll start to realise that some of them just aren’t viable, interesting or fun to write about. And you’ll have gotten used to having dozens of ideas in the pipeline, so once you’ve covered all your initial inspirations… you’ll be kind of stuck. It happens to everyone.
Everyone has a different way of overcoming it, though. Personally, I have been known to go through the alphabet, thinking of sex-related words for each letter and then thinking of whether I want to write about any of those. Other people recommend always carrying a notebook in case inspiration strikes, but I just use my phone – which then syncs everything to the ever-mystical Cloud so that my ideas don’t get lost down the back of an armchair.
The most important thing is to be kind to yourself, and acknowledge that this is a normal part of the sex-blogging learning curve. If you really wanna start a sex blog, you have to be prepared for the days you really don’t wanna write your sex blog.
2. It’s easier to start self-hosted than to change over later on
All the talk about self-hosting versus using WordPress or similar sounds technical and intimidating – as does actually going self-hosted. The only things I’ll say are: self-hosting is easier now than it has ever been, and I’ve never had a problem I couldn’t Google my way out of; self-hosting means your site won’t get removed for being naughty; it’s a pain to move your blog to any new URL once it’s established; nobody actually cares whether you’re self-hosted or not except for algorithms, you and your bank balance. Self-hosting isn’t hugely expensive, but it’s beyond some people’s budgets, and that’s fine! If you choose not to host your own site, nobody is judging you, I promise. (If they are, tell me and I’ll kick ’em in the shins for you.)
Basically: self-hosting has its advantages, and you should keep your options open where you can.
(You can also just buy the domain name you want to make sure nobody else snags it, go WordPress-hosted and save self-hosting for another time.)
3. Writing erotica is… weird. And not sexy
Okay, I’ve known this since before sex blogging, but it kinda feels weirder the wider your audience is. During my fanfiction days, I only had to worry about the responses of a handful of IRL friends and another handful of internet nerds who were just as confused about the mechanics of anal sex as I was. But knowing that nearly 1,000 people now see my weird sexy writing each month makes it all the harder to sit down in sweat- and menses-stained pyjamas and type the word “shaft” with a straight face. Finding words for body parts in erotica will have you cringing out of your skin, but d’you know what else will? When you get so deep into the flow of writing that you write something weirdly dirty or kinky, that’s uncharacteristic of you but that gives you a spiky little tingle in your pants. For me personally, the cringe factor overrides my arousal and I don’t use my own erotica to wank, but maybe you’ll find it less weird than I do upon starting a sex blog! I really hope so, ’cause it’s fucking weird!
4. It’s really rewarding to run a sex blog
For all the complications you might run into (internet weirdos crossing your boundaries, self-hosting stress and more!), starting a sex blog was so worth it for me. Every now and then, someone reaches out through my Contact Form or my Twitter DMs to tell me how much my writing has benefitted them – be it through helping them have better sex, teaching them something new or making them feel less weird and alone for being kinky/autistic/queer/etc. Those messages are what drive me to work on my SEO and site design, to help me reach as many people as possible – and they’re what you should be hoping for if you’re looking at starting a sex blog. Sex is super politicised in our culture, and you have to be aware that sex blogging is a political act – but one that can really, tangibly improve other people’s lives.
So, what are you waiting for? Go choose a cool pseudonym!
The pandemic and subsequent lockdown that’s going on right now means that I’ve lost a lot of work opportunities (because every other fucker at my agency is snagging jobs before I can). If you want to help me out, please do consider buying me a coffee or commissioning transcripts or captions from me!