Things I Wish I’d Known Before Starting A Sex Blog

Hi! If you’ve found my blog for the first time via this post, my name is Morgan, and I’ve been sex-blogging since March, 2018. I can only imagine you’re here because either 1. You want to start your own sex blog or 2. You don’t, but you’re still really interested in the process of writing and running a sex blog. Either way, you’ve come to the right place! I’m going to share some things I wish I’d been told before starting up a sex blog, and I hope they’re of some use – or just interest – to y’all.

1. You will run out of ideas.

You may think this sounds impossible if you’ve just started to sink your teeth into the idea of sex blogging. “But Morgan,” you cry, “I have so many ideas! I filled two notebook pages with ’em!”

Yes, my beloved, it feels like you have so many ideas that you will never be stuck for inspiration. But then you’ll look at your list of potential blog titles, muttering, “Boring, played out, already covered that topic in a different post, boring, boring, irrelevant now,” until all you have left is some half-legible scribble that appears to only say Dick veins???

The thing is, when you first start thinking about putting together a sex blog, you’ll be excited, and you’ll probably brainstorm a whole bunch of topics that you could potentially write about. But, as that excitement mellows out a little, you’ll start to realise that some of them just aren’t viable, interesting or fun to write about. And you’ll have gotten used to having dozens of ideas in the pipeline, so once you’ve covered all your initial inspirations… you’ll be kind of stuck. It happens to everyone.

Everyone has a different way of overcoming it, though. Personally, I have been known to go through the alphabet, thinking of sex-related words for each letter and then thinking of whether I want to write about any of those. Other people recommend always carrying a notebook in case inspiration strikes, but I just use my phone – which then syncs everything to the ever-mystical Cloud so that my ideas don’t get lost down the back of an armchair.

The most important thing is to be kind to yourself, and acknowledge that this is a normal part of the sex-blogging learning curve. If you really wanna start a sex blog, you have to be prepared for the days you really don’t wanna write your sex blog.

2. It’s easier to start self-hosted than to change over later on

All the talk about self-hosting versus using WordPress or similar sounds technical and intimidating – as does actually going self-hosted. The only things I’ll say are: self-hosting is easier now than it has ever been, and I’ve never had a problem I couldn’t Google my way out of; self-hosting means your site won’t get removed for being naughty; it’s a pain to move your blog to any new URL once it’s established; nobody actually cares whether you’re self-hosted or not except for algorithms, you and your bank balance. Self-hosting isn’t hugely expensive, but it’s beyond some people’s budgets, and that’s fine! If you choose not to host your own site, nobody is judging you, I promise. (If they are, tell me and I’ll kick ’em in the shins for you.)

Basically: self-hosting has its advantages, and you should keep your options open where you can.

(You can also just buy the domain name you want to make sure nobody else snags it, go WordPress-hosted and save self-hosting for another time.)

3. Writing erotica is… weird. And not sexy

Okay, I’ve known this since before sex blogging, but it kinda feels weirder the wider your audience is. During my fanfiction days, I only had to worry about the responses of a handful of IRL friends and another handful of internet nerds who were just as confused about the mechanics of anal sex as I was. But knowing that nearly 1,000 people now see my weird sexy writing each month makes it all the harder to sit down in sweat- and menses-stained pyjamas and type the word “shaft” with a straight face. Finding words for body parts in erotica will have you cringing out of your skin, but d’you know what else will? When you get so deep into the flow of writing that you write something weirdly dirty or kinky, that’s uncharacteristic of you but that gives you a spiky little tingle in your pants. For me personally, the cringe factor overrides my arousal and I don’t use my own erotica to wank, but maybe you’ll find it less weird than I do upon starting a sex blog! I really hope so, ’cause it’s fucking weird!

4. It’s really rewarding to run a sex blog

For all the complications you might run into (internet weirdos crossing your boundaries, self-hosting stress and more!), starting a sex blog was so worth it for me. Every now and then, someone reaches out through my Contact Form or my Twitter DMs to tell me how much my writing has benefitted them – be it through helping them have better sex, teaching them something new or making them feel less weird and alone for being kinky/autistic/queer/etc. Those messages are what drive me to work on my SEO and site design, to help me reach as many people as possible – and they’re what you should be hoping for if you’re looking at starting a sex blog. Sex is super politicised in our culture, and you have to be aware that sex blogging is a political act – but one that can really, tangibly improve other people’s lives.

So, what are you waiting for? Go choose a cool pseudonym!


The pandemic and subsequent lockdown that’s going on right now means that I’ve lost a lot of work opportunities (because every other fucker at my agency is snagging jobs before I can). If you want to help me out, please do consider buying me a coffee or commissioning transcripts or captions from me!

Eroticon 2019: How Accessible Was It?

Image is of Morgan, a blue-haired nonbinary human with facial piercings, smirking and holding their Eroticon delegate badge up to the camera. The badge reads "Eroticon, Morgan Peschek, @KinkyAutistic, Pronouns: They/them, Delegate".

(To those of you who follow me on Twitter and are bloody sick of hearing me talking about Eroticon, worry not! This is the last blog post I’ll put up that directly relates to it. Next week will be a continuation of last month’s stalkery Smut Saturdays story, and after that I have posts about why there are so many autistic people doing kink, how I feel about receiving cunnilingus and plenty more in the pipeline!)


It’s been just shy of a week since Eroticon 2019 came to an end, and I have to say: I loved it.

For those not in the know, Eroticon is an annual conference held in London all about sex, sex writing, sex blogging and sexy, sexy search engine optimisation. This was my first year attending (and was, in fact, my first experience attending any kind of conference) and I was anxious about every element of it, but I particularly wanted to discuss its accessibility since my whole Thing™ is about being simultaneously slutty and disabled.

I’ll start with the good things, and then mention areas for improvement, but I want to stress that Eroticon was an unbelievably positive and welcoming environment and that I could sense the whole time how much thought and care was poured into its planning and into making it as accessible as humanly possible. I already have plans to attend again next year and I’m even toying with the idea of pitching a session, so you can rest assured that even the things that were less than ideal weren’t nearly enough to ruin the fantastic experience I had. I’m also only going to talk about the accessibility of the conference itself, not the Friday night Meet And Greet or the Saturday night social, because those were hosted in a Holiday Inn entirely beyond the control of the organisers and because this post is running at too many words already.

The Good:

  1. Whilst trying to assuage my ever-growing anxiety about the fact that I was going to fucking London for a fucking conference, I spent hours studying the Eroticon website and was pleasantly surprised to find both a floor plan and a virtual tour of the building in which it was taking place. This is, as far as I’m concerned, an accessibility feature – being able to visualise a space before I have to navigate it in the flesh realm is anxiety-reducing and makes it marginally less likely that I’ll get lost. (I did get lost, but that wasn’t for a lack of signage in the building – I just get overwhelmed easily and forget how to read sometimes.)
  2. The aforementioned building, Arlington House, features a step-free entrance and both lifts and stair lifts to make all the rooms stairlessly accessible. I was thankfully having a good weekend in terms of my joint pain and stability, but knowing that I could have foregone the stairs if I’d needed to was a huge comfort.
  3. This only tenuously fits under the heading of “accessibility”, but the toilets were all gender-neutral, including the larger, wheelchair-accessible one. I suppose this is only an accessibility feature if you, like me, have debilitating anxiety that is worsened by dysphoria, but then again, all accessibility features are designed to accommodate specific needs that not every disabled person will have.
  4. The lunch options available were, as far as I could gather, brilliant for anybody with particular dietary needs – food that had to be allergen-free was stored separately from food that didn’t, and there was the opportunity to request vegetarian and vegan options and other such specialist things. Unfortunately, there was no “I am a fussy bitch baby” option, so the only things I could face eating were the fruit and the cake, but I can’t fault anybody for that – I have such particular, limited tastes in food that I wasn’t expecting to find much I’d like. I can heartily recommend the red velvet cupcakes, though.
  5. There was a room labelled the “Silent Sanctuary” where people who were overwhelmed, needed to rest, etc. could go to lie or sit down, and it even featured the thoughtful touch of colouring books. As I’ll go into below, it wasn’t perfect, but it was an enormous relief to slip into when I was finding myself somewhat burnt out and in need of some quiet crocheting time.

The Bad:

  1. Like most of the things I’m about to list, this was beyond the control of the Eroticon organisers, but it’s still worth mentioning for future attendees: the Silent Sanctuary was not silent. All of its occupants, when I visited, were exceptionally quiet and respectful, but its doors opened right onto the vendor area, so even when they were shut, a continual murmur of noise leaked through – and whenever anybody opened them, it was like being right back in that busy corridor. I appreciate that it was probably a priority to keep the Silent Sanctuary close to the busy vendor area precisely so that overwhelmed people like me could access it easily, and I’m not sure how anybody could have soundproofed it, but it’s worth bearing in mind so if you’re the noise-sensitive type you can consider bringing earplugs or ear defenders.
  2. The vendor area itself was the only place I ever visited where seating wasn’t readily available. I don’t know how they might have crammed seating in there for attendees, as it was situated in a corridor that saw heavy footfall most of the time, but my knees, hips and ankles were not best pleased about the fact that I had to stand for the entire duration of my (genuinely fascinating) discussions with various vendors. I can only suggest knowing your limits and maybe popping an ibuprofen before visiting the vendor area; the breakout space and all the talks had chairs available, so you could always duck out and plant yourself on one of those, but if you wanted to hang out with vendors and learn about exciting new products, it was standing room only.
  3. Again, I can’t blame the Eroticon organisers for this, but there were a lot of scents making appearances over the weekend. I’m not sure whether it was the rooms themselves that were scented with some kind of air freshener or whether attendees were wearing scents, but as a hypersensitive autistic baby, I found myself suffering bouts of nausea as well as more frequent overwhelm as a result of scents seemingly coming from all directions. I’m hesitant to suggest a no-scent or low-scent policy for next year because I don’t want to be entitled and demanding, but some people have migraines and other physiological conditions that are triggered by scents and others, like me, find them overwhelming even in small doses.
  4. I fully understand that hosting Eroticon in Camden makes it accessible to a lot of people who are arriving by public transit, and I also understand that finding an accessible venue that will host sex-related events is an unimaginable ballache. However, Camden is on the cusp of being financially inaccessible: even if you receive one of the tickets funded by sponsors, finding affordable accommodation and food in Camden is a whole task in and of itself, and if you choose to stay in an area of London outside of Camden you have to account for the price of public transport to get over to Arlington House. Again, I have no suggestions for where to host Eroticon instead, especially since Arlington House are an excellent organisation doing excellent work, but I have to mention financial accessibility, especially since us disableds are some of the people most likely to experience financial difficulties.

The Overview:

I had a brilliant time at Eroticon. I really, really did, and I cannot imagine a better first-conference experience than the one I had. The minor criticisms I have are all things that don’t fall directly at the feet of the Eroticon team and are near-impossible to remedy, but they’re things I wish I’d been aware of before I attended so I could make sure I had ibuprofen and earplugs – which is why I’ve mentioned them here! I’d love to meet even more members of this loving, supportive, truly incredible community, so I figured I could do my bit by equipping potential 2020 attendees with some knowledge that’ll make their Eroticon experience even better.

Eroticon 2019 Virtual Meet And Great – Morgan Peschek

Image is of Morgan, a (probably) white nonbinary person with short blue/teal hair, big hazel eyes and several facial piercings, including a ring through their lip. They are wearing winged eyeliner, a neutral lipstick and some blue face gems under their left eye, and a Kingdom Hearts necklace in addition to their collar (which features a heart-shaped padlock).

Y’all are in for two treats today: my first ever Wednesday blog post and my first ever Virtual Meet And Greet, for Eroticon 2019! I cannot overstate how excited and anxious I am, so I’m very glad I have this opportunity to introduce myself to people and familiarise myself with some of y’all’s faces.


NAME (and Twitter if you have one)

My name is Morgan Peschek, but I answer to Morgan, Moggy, Mo, Momo, “oi, you with the blue hair” and Captain Morgan (as in the rum; I’ve never been a captain of anything and it’s not a D/s title I’m insisting that near-strangers address me by). My Twitter is 

@KinkyAutistic, and my vanilla one (for memes and complaining, mostly) is @Gr8NinjaMorgan.

Tell us 3 things you are most looking forward to at Eroticon 2019

  1. Learning! I have so much respect and admiration for my fellow sex writers and I can’t wait to hear their insights about marketing, monetization, representation and so much more.
  2. Being in a supportive, sex-positive environment. I come away from rope events and other kinky gatherings feeling intensely validated, affirmed and seen, and I’m expecting to feel very similar at Eroticon.
  3. Spending a whole weekend thinking about my blog and about sex writing more broadly. Being a student, and a mentally ill one at that, I spend a lot of time feeling torn in all directions, trying to give every one of my responsibilities the attention they deserve, and as a result I often find myself mashing out blog posts on the day they’re meant to go live and feeling crushingly guilty I’m not investing more time in SEO, pitching things and otherwise putting my best blogging foot forward. It’ll be nice to give myself permission to focus entirely on the world of sex writing for a weekend and to feel like a Real Sex Blogger™ for a change.

We are creating a playlist of songs for the Friday Night Meet and Greet. Nominate one song that you would like us to add to the play list and tell us why you picked that song.

I’ve been watching The Umbrella Academy lately and I’d nominate its whole soundtrack if I could, but since I have to choose: Tiffany’s “I Think We’re Alone Now”. It’s feel-good, sort of sexy, and most people know at least some of the words.

What is your favourite item or book you’ve purchased so far this year?

My limited edition Kingdom Hearts PlayStation 4 (and all the collectibles it came with, including Kingdom Hearts III), because I am a nerd. (It was also pretty helpful psychologically to spend a chunk of money on something “indulgent” that was exclusively for myself – giving myself the message that I’m worth £380 was a nice little boost to the ol’ self worth.)

You can have an unlimited supply of one thing for the rest of your life, what is it? Sushi? Scotch Tape?

Is it cheating if I say energy, or at least serotonin? I feel like I could do so much good in the world if I could just crawl out of bed a little more often…

If I have to pick something more concrete, probably the balls that screw onto my piercings. A little thing, but when I lose them (which is too often; I’m always fiddling with the bastards) I feel less like myself. I’ve gone to great pains (literally) to mark my face, and by extension, my body, as something I own and have control over, so not needing to shell out ~£3 every time one of my ball bearings falls into a gutter would be a huge help.

What is your favourite quote from a movie?

Questions like this one always cause me to entirely forget every movie I’ve ever watched, but after racking my brains for at least twenty minutes, I’ve settled on “You’re gonna rattle the stars, you are!” from Treasure Planet.

What is your word suggestion to next years Eroticon anthology?

Hunger.

Complete the sentence:
I feel…

Breathtakingly anxious and excited about next weekend.

BONUS: What are you packing for Eroticon?

I have decided to be cheeky and add in my own question, because 1. I feel that one big strength of blogging memes and prompts is the way you can adapt and build of them and 2. I love seeing other people’s packing lists and guides, and I’m anxious to see whether y’all think I’ve missed out something essential!

So without further ado, I’m bringing:

  • An A5 notebook
  • One of those clicky pens with different colours on, so I can colour code notes without bringing a whole damn pencil case
  • My knitting, to keep my anxious hands busy
  • Business cards (which aren’t crucial – I know some people have worried about not having any)
  • Three outfits: a comfy one for each day of workshops and a pretty one for the Saturday night social
  • Arguably too much makeup
  • Some unwanted corsets I plan to swap or donate via the Swap Shop
  • All the other things I never go on a trip without:
    • My meds
    • My phone & phone charger
    • Wallet, keys, ID and railcard
    • My beloved water bottle, which is a socially-acceptable sippy bottle-type thing
    • Earphones
  • My Daddy, who you might meet at the social events, but who will be spending the time I’m in workshops etc. looking for good Chinese food in London – recommendations are very welcome!

I can’t wait to meet some of y’all! If this goes really well and I end up the monarch of a profit-yielding blog empire, readers and pals in other countries might end up seeing me at some of their cons too… 😉