Content note: This story details consensual ageplay and imitation of nonconsensual sex & kink between two very consenting adults. If that’s hard for you, please do give this one a miss and join me next week for something different!
Every fourth Saturday, I’ll be posting erotica I’ve written, based loosely on my own real life experiences or fantasies, for your wanking enjoyment. They’ll all be under the category ‘Smut Saturdays’ and if you’ve got any feedback or requests for smut scenarios, put ‘em in the comments or hit me up on Twitter @KinkyAutistic!
We like to play pretend.
This is already evident in the fact that I call him ‘Daddy’, growl like a puppy when the postman comes, and beg him to stop hurting me without ever actually using my safeword. We have constructed a handful of different pretends that we move through and between fluidly, especially when we’re playing.
We pretend I’m tiny and innocent and don’t know what a cock is.
We pretend I don’t want him to hurt me, or to fuck me, or to make me cum.
We pretend I’m a human-dog hybrid, desperately humping his thigh, unable to express how badly I want to get fucked.
Today, we are pretending that he’s in a bad mood and that I’m small. I want to placate him. He wants to relieve himself of tension.
“I want to cheer you up,” I start, locking my widened eyes onto his face. “I like it when you’re cheered up, Daddy.”
In my pretend-mind, my character’s mind, my little mind, he’s had a hard day at work and he hasn’t yet unwound. Maybe I could rub his back, or make him a nice cup of tea, or sit in his lap and kiss his cheeks whilst he plays Angry Birds. When he’s in a bad mood like this, he might hurt me, and then I might have to pretend not to like it. In my little mind, I have to pretend not to like it, because liking it makes me weird and because he might hurt me more and more if he finds out. If anybody sees the bruises, they won’t let us spend time together. And I’m slightly pretend-worried he might go too far and kill me, even though he always promises he wouldn’t break his “favourite toy”.
He’s scrolling absentmindedly through something on his phone and doesn’t look up to reply, “How do you plan on doing that?”
“I could give you a back rub,” I offer tremulously. “Or make you some tea.”
He still doesn’t look up. I’m beginning to feel stung. “I don’t think so, little one,” he says. “I don’t fancy tea, and a back rub won’t cut it.”
I know that when he’s in this mood, it takes more than a back rub to cheer him up, but I don’t ever want to be the one to offer the solution he wants. I can’t let him think I want it. “Well, would you like some kisses?”
I’m pretend-stung even deeper this time. My kisses are priceless; I’m a princess! How can he only suppose that he wants me to kiss him? Doesn’t he love me to absolute pieces? (Bloodied, tear-stained pieces at that…) Doesn’t he usually demand kisses from me?
I let my bottom lip jut out. “Only suppose?” I ask.
He rests his phone on his knee and fixes me with an intense glare. “You know I want more than kisses, little one.”
“…cuddles?” I posit, still playing dumb.
He raises an eyebrow. “You know what I want.”
He wants to fuck me. He wants to slap me and spit on me and cum in me. I know this. But I cannot let him think I want it.
“I don’t, Daddy.”
The phrase “come upstairs” is essentially synonymous with “I am going to fuck you,” but I always pretend I haven’t figured that out yet. I stand up and wait for him to lead the way out of the living room and up the staircase, following a few steps behind him. I think I can feel my heartbeat in my clit. I tell myself that it’s fear, not lust, as we reach the threshold to the bedroom.
Wordlessly, he reaches into the bag of “toys” he keeps by the bedroom door. Sometimes I pretend not to know what he means by “toys” and ask if there’s a Rubik’s Cube or a bouncy ball in there, but today I watch silently because he’s in a bad mood and there’s a meat tenderizer in there.
To my intense relief, he doesn’t pull out anything scary. Instead, there’s a fistful of black fabric and straps that looks a bit like weird underwear, and the curved purple thing he sometimes puts inside me.
“We’re going to play a different game today,” he explains, as he fiddles with the items he drew from the bag. “Do you know what pegging is?”
In real life I do, but right now I don’t. I shake my head, biting my tongue to prevent me from making some quip about laundry.
He has somehow fitted the purple toy into the weird underwear, and hands the whole ensemble to me. “Put this on,” he says, “but take your clothes off first. Make sure you adjust the straps so they fit comfortably. I’m going to go into the bedroom and get ready.”
A tingle of excitement zips through me. He closes the bedroom door and leaves me on the landing to strip down and step into the underwear-like thing with the purple appendage jutting out of it. It takes me a hot minute, on account of the probably dyspraxia and my little brain making my hands slow and uncertain, but I get it up around my hips, figure out how to tighten the straps so they bite into my flesh and keep the whole thing secure, and then I stand there for a minute wiggling my hips so the purple thing wobbles up and down. It makes me giggle.
“You can come in,” my Daddy calls through the door. I ease it open, one hand covering my nipples so I can pretend I don’t want him to touch them, and I see him lying in bed with no clothes on, his cock unfathomably hard and something nestled between his butt cheeks. “Does the harness feel okay?”
So that’s what it’s called, thinks my little brain, a harness. I nod, staring at whatever is between his cheeks. He notices, puts a finger on the base of it and wiggles it.
“You know how I put things inside you and you love it?” I stay silent, not wanting to admit I love it. He continues regardless, “Well, Daddy likes to have things put inside him, too.” He’s still wiggling the thing that is, I realise now, inside his butt. His cock wiggles too, and I’m unsure if it’s because of the wiggling motion itself or because his cock is happy. “Come here, come sit on the bed.”
I do so. I can’t take my eyes off the thing in his butt. He seems smug about that, and starts pulling on it. It’s got a round bit at the bottom, and as he pulls it out I see that it gets thinner, then wider again, but then thinner again. It looks a bit like a Christmas tree, but black. Once it’s all the way out, he places it on a nearby towel and puts one hand on his cock.
“You are going to put that purple toy inside Daddy,” he tells me. “And you’re gonna fuck me, just like I’ve fucked you so many times, until I cum. You owe me, after all.”
I let a frown pass over my face. Owe him? thinks little brain. I don’t owe him, I never want him to do that! Even if it does make me all squeezy and tingly…
“Don’t look like that,” he says sternly. “Come and kneel between Daddy’s legs.”
I do as I’m told.
“Daddy,” I say slowly, “what if I’m not as good at fucking as you are?”
“You will be.”
“The only but involved here is my butt, and you’re going to fuck it.” He reaches forwards and grabs me by the throat, cutting off some of my air intake and making me cough a little. “You said you wanted to cheer me up, bitch.”
I have to pretend I don’t like it when he calls me ‘bitch’.
I am losing sight of why I pretend, though.
I line the purple toy up with his asshole. I’m nervous about doing it wrong and nervous I’ll enjoy doing it right. I don’t want him to keep asking me to do this. I don’t want him to get me to do more stuff to his butt: it’s weird, and butts are supposed to be dirty, and I don’t want to be like those girls on TV who just can’t stop doing sex.
Why don’t I want to be like them, again?
I slide the toy into him and he groans so loud I’m worried I’ve hurt him. Sometimes it hurts when he fucks me, but I kind of like it… After a moment, though, it becomes evident that it was a happy groan. He’s let go of my throat but the reprieve doesn’t last long – as soon as the toy is seated firmly inside him he grabs the short hair on the back of my head and pulls my face close to his.
“Now you’re gonna fuck me, and you’re gonna make me cum, and then you’re going to lick it up like the slut you are,” he growls, and I can only whimper in response – his grip on my hair is painful. “Start moving back and forth like Daddy does.”
I obey. He makes noises that suggest that he likes it. He sets the pace by wrapping his legs around mine and pulling me into him, over and over, harder and harder.
My thighs are shaking with the effort of staying upright and my knees aren’t happy about the motion of my hips. I start telling my Daddy this, “My legs are hurting and -”
“Bitch, you’re going to fuck me until I cum or I’ll put you in the garage for a week,” he snarls, moving his hand to grip my throat again. “Is that what you want?”
I have to pretend that there’s not a bit of me that kind of does want that.
In spite of the pain shooting through my legs, I thrust and I thrust until his thighs start to shake. There’s sweat beading on his forehead. I know he’ll cum soon.
He still hasn’t let go of my throat.
After an eternity of it, after black spots have started to swim through my vision, after he tells me again that if I dare to stop he won’t feed me for a week and he’ll make me bleed and, and –
He cums. He shoots cum all over his own torso and over my belly, some of it dribbling onto the harness. He all but howls with the pleasure and the release of it, and squeezes my throat one last time before letting it go.
We pause. We make eye contact. I can’t pretend any more, and I break into giggles. I’m incredibly pleased with myself and I am wet through after the choking, never mind the hot, thick cum he’s painted me with.
“Was that okay?” he asks, in his real-life voice now.
I revert to real-life me too: “That was so fucking hot, Daddy. Can I lick you clean now?”