For the first three years of my sex life, I considered analingus a hard limit. In my Yes/No/Maybe list, I asserted that ass-eating was a ‘No’ unless there was a dental dam involved, regardless of whether I was giving or receiving – and, frankly, that boundary took the act off the table entirely, largely because neither me nor any of my partners could be arsed (winkwinknudgenudge) to acquire and use dental dams when we had already fluid-bonded in every other conceivable way. I knew that the chances of my partners selecting dam-covered analingus over another, less cumbersome and prep-heavy activity without a dam were slim to none, and I knew that some of them shared my anxieties about bacteria and, let’s face it, poop. So, for years, my diet was ass-free.
On the other hand, I loved (and love) butts and buttholes, and I had (and have) a passion for trying All The Things™ relating to sex and kink. When I started dating someone with as strong a love for butts and butt-related activites as my own, I naturally started doing more in the way of butthole fingering, talking dirty about buttfucking (giving and receiving) and, when I got toppy during sexting sessions, asking for photos of this person’s butt with its cheeks spread, which they happily delivered.
Eventually, this partner and I ended up in my shower together. It was near the end of a long weekend of fucking, and we were horny but also exhausted (and my pussy and jaw both ached in different ways, neither of which were the pleasant S&M-y way). I’d seen this person’s cute butthole a number of times over that weekend; we were in the shower, so my fears about bacteria and unintentional scat play were as allayed as they were ever going to be; we’d talked about rimming and established that it was something my partner was curious about, and, increasingly, that I was interested in too…
So I ordered my partner to face the wall and bend a little at the waist, and the rest is history.
I took to it like a duck to water. By this point in my sexual journey, I’d had a fair bit of practice when it came to eating pussy, but this was like cunnilingus on Hard Mode: buttcheeks clashed with my face cheeks, I had to push my tongue so far out of my mouth that my frenulum snagged on my teeth if I wasn’t careful, and buttholes don’t get erect, so there wasn’t as much “PUT TONGUE HERE”-type tactile feedback as there would be with a clitoris. And I loved the challenge of it. I loved the sensation of burying my whole face in an attractive butt and I loved the sense of working hard to pleasure my partner. I even came to love the specific texture of a butthole against my tongue and the taste and scent of a clean (or maybe slightly sweaty) buttcrack.
And, as I experimented further with it, I loved the ways that you could use analingus in play. Here are some tried and tested ways of marrying power play to ass-eating that you can experiment with and build on if you are, like I was, a complete rimming newbie:
- When you’re domming and you’re giving analingus, you can use it to humiliate. In between broad licks, you can say things like, “You’re so fucking slutty you’ll even let me put my tongue in your ass. Look how desperate you are for me to lick you, on all fours like a goddamn animal. Do you want my tongue back in your ass, bitch?” (providing those are all things that your sub consents to you saying). You’ve got them bent over in some fashion, so you can, if you’re feeling mean, slap or punch or even bite their buttcheeks, then coo pseudo-sympathetically and offer to “kiss it better” before returning your mouth to their anus.
- When you’re domming and you’re receiving analingus, the potential for humiliation is amazing: “You’re really willing to lick my asshole, you disgusting slut? You really would do anything to please me, wouldn’t you, you pathetic little thing?” Plus, you can push your butt further into your sub’s face, or even sit on it (carefully!) to add an element of breath play into the scene, and you’ve still got both hands free for touching your genitals or – if you’re a mean and indifferent dom(me) – checking Twitter.
- When you’re subbing and you’re giving analingus, you can get right in there and work hard at proving your devotion to your dom(me). You can use your hands to touch their genitals, or even your own – but I’d advise that you get permission first, otherwise you might find that they confiscate their asshole from until you can be more restrained.
- When you’re subbing and you’re receiving analingus, you’re letting your dom(me) put their tongue somewhere super intimate, and that can create a wonderful feeling of vulnerability and surrender. You could wiggle your buttcheeks adorably and desperately if they’re meanly keeping their tongue mostly still, and again, if you have permission or you’re feeling brave, you could use your hands on your own junk or on your dom(me).
Ultimately, analingus is like any sex act: versatile, enjoyable and only gross if you make it that way for kink purposes. Putting aside my (only partially-founded) anxieties to try it out led me on some incredible sexcapades like those described above, so as well as being titillating, I hope that this post inspires you to do something you’re excited to try, but slightly scared about – as long as you do your research, mitigate any risks and make an informed choice about it! <3