Separating Art From Artist

A stock photo of paints, pencils, etc on a messy desk, cause you know, every artist is a hot mess

There is some bloody good art in the world. Loads of it, in fact. And some of it is made by horrible people.

Maybe “horrible people” is a bit strong, but people make choices that harm others, and artists are no exception to this rule. Sometimes these are horrible-people-level bad choices, and sometimes they’re misspoke-in-an-interview-level bad choices, but the fact remains that artists, like everyone, have the capacity to do harm, but unlike everyone, have a much bigger audience to whom they can do it. Doing harm to people is, of course, bad, but good art is good, and so we face the question: can I still enjoy the art? Or am I being a heartless bastard?

There is often a call, when a celebrity or author or actor or whoever fucks up, to “separate the art from the artist!”. It’s my view, though, that art is always shaped by its artist, that every tiny bit of every one of their works has them baked into it, and that you literally cannot “separate” the two. What this call actually seems to mean is, “Consume the art and stop complaining!”, which is a very different kettle of fish. Yes, sometimes the art is bloody good, but should an artist’s behaviour affect art they made before their shitty actions? Can I still enjoy the art, or am I being a heartless bastard for even wanting to?

When I’m trying to decide whether or not to carry on consuming the work of any particular artist, I like to ask myself three questions:

  1. Is it my place to forgive this person?

First things first: does it matter what I think? This post was inspired by J. K. Rowling’s recent transphobic word-diarrhea, and in that case, yeah, I get a vote; I’m trans. In other cases, though, like those of racism or of sexual assault, I prefer to listen to the people who are actually being harmed, and always err on the side of caution when it comes to supporting the artist in question, even if they apologise or donate a bunch of money somewhere or hire a skywriter to scrawl, “People of colour are okay, actually!” across the sky. If it isn’t my place to offer an artist forgiveness, that’s where my line of thought ends – but if it is, I keep thinking.

2. What real-world difference does my consumption of this art make?

Vivaldi may or may not have been a nonce. One could argue that I’m not really hurting anyone by jamming to Spring, because he and all his victims have been dead for a very long time, but I like to look a little closer: who is seeing me knowingly enjoy the work of a nonce? More broadly, I ask myself: Will my consumption of this art hurt people’s feelings? Make them feel alone in their struggle, or like I don’t care about their pain? Will it make them think that their bad behaviour is maybe a little more okay? Where is my money going, and will it be empowering more shitty people to do more shitty things? Essentially: will I be doing more harm?

3. How badly do I need this art?

Like I said before, this post is about JKR. I was huge into Harry Potter back in the day, devouring the same seven books over and over again, muttering along with the movies’ dialogue, planning my first Harry Potter tattoo – the works. Harry Potter was my solace for a lot of my life, and it helped me to find community when I was otherwise struggling to. The thought of losing Harry Potter hurts – but, really, it’s already lost. I clearly don’t need this particular art enough to ignore its artist’s transphobic bullshit, because I find myself now thoroughly turned off by every Potter reference I see. And it’s obviously not the same art I thought it was when I was younger, if we’re subscribing to the notion that an artist is baked into their work, because art coming from someone with a worldview that allows for transphobia is very different to art coming from somebody else.

I actually can’t imagine a scenario where I would ignore harm done to others for the sake of a good book or banging tune, but I like to ask myself this last question just in case – and also to remind myself that, actually, it’s no big loss if I have to cut the artist in question out of my life.


It hurts when an artist who made something we love behaves badly. It feels like the art has been taken away from us, even though what’s actually happened is just that we’ve learned more about who that artist is as a person. It stings, and it can be tempting to grit your teeth through the pain and keep enjoying the art. I’m not saying you have to follow my lead in asking yourself these questions and ditching artists who do harm, but I am asking you to consider the impact of your art consumption and to, you know, care about other people. Please?

How To Seduce Yourself

Some red rose petals scattered across a white background, all romantic-like

I want to teach you guys how to seduce yourselves because the other day, I had the loveliest wank.

“Lovely” isn’t a word often used to describe wanks, because usually wanks are “sneaky” or “hot” or “dirty” or “rushed”. And all of those things can be enjoyable too, but this wank wasn’t primarily any of those. It was primarily lovely.

I’ve been coming off some medication that gave me hellishly bad restless legs, so I’ve been smoking weed to ease both the legs thing and the transition onto my new medication. This is relevant because Stoned Morgan, unlike Regular Morgan, actually likes being Morgan. They like being alive, they like experiencing sensory inputs and they like, well, wanking. The idea to have a stoned wank was not new to me, but as I was coming inside and shutting the back door after getting blazed, I resolved to have a nice wank. I took the last of the Nutella upstairs with me, with a teaspoon, and I took plenty of time making sure the toys I wanted were within arms’ reach and my trousers were not within leg-tangling reach. I played music. It was lovely.

How can you replicate this sort of loveliness in your own wanks? Well, it’s easy! You need to learn how to seduce yourself. Grabbing aftercare Nutella and taking my trousers off might not sound like seduction, but allow me to explain myself in the following four handy tips!

1. Take your time.

I love a quick, get-the-job-done wank as much as anybody, but sometimes the art of seduction requires a little extra time. There’s something uniquely peaceful about the moments you spend delicately exploring your labia before you touch your clit, or fluttering your fingertips along your shaft before you grab it. Don’t make it uncomfortable, though – if you’re just lying there, bored, thinking, “Why did Morgan tell me to wank in slow motion?” then by all means, speed things up! This is about your enjoyment, so take as much or as little time as you need.

2. Tailor your environment.

I’m not a porn person (largely because I cannot afford it, and refuse to steal from sex workers), but wanking in silence feels weird and uncomfortable – so, before my recent self-seduction, I slapped some tunes on via Spotify on my phone. You don’t need a special playlist of smooth jazz, or even anything overtly sexy; you just need to be relaxed, and happy to be in the space you’re in. For some people, this means pink mood lighting, and for others, it means sweeping the dirty laundry off the bed so you can lie down. However it looks for you, make sure you take the time to do it – it really does make a difference.

3. Take care of yourself afterwards.

Not only will performing self-aftercare teach your brain, over time, that wanking is an extra-nice hobby to have because it leads to chocolate and snuggles afterwards, but it’ll also put you in the right frame of mind for your lovely-wank endeavours. Bringing a jar of Nutella into bed with me was essentially me saying to myself, “I am a person who deserves nice things,” which made it all the easier to relax into the pleasant sensation of having my clit hammered by a Doxy wand – after all, I deserved it!

4. Make noises.

This one isn’t always possible for people who live with others, but when it is, fucking go for it! Make loud noises, make weird noises, make noises that make you think of that one boyfriend who told you that you sounded like a dying baby seal – just open up your throat and see what noises fall out. There are two reasons for this: 1. Your breathing will be different, because of science things, and it’ll help you to have better orgasms, and 2. Your brain will hear you go [sex noise], think, “Oh! A sex-related sensory input! It’s sex time!” and increase your physiological arousal some more. Plus, it’ll make you less self-conscious about your noises if you have partnered sex – but this isn’t about partnered sex! This is about how to seduce yourself, because you’re worth it.


In the end, during that really nice wank, I had two or three orgasms (one of them was a borderline one, and I don’t care whether it was a “real” orgasm or not because it felt fucking incredible either way). I also had a really good nap afterwards, and I woke up glowing, not just because of the brain chemicals you get from wanking, but also because I had spent half an hour or so before my nap saying to myself, repeatedly, through my actions, that I deserved to feel good. I couldn’t not-share some of my secrets with y’all, given how crazy times are, and I hope you take them and use them for good. And if you have any other tips on how to seduce yourself, I’m all ears! (There’s only so much money I can spend on Nutella.)


Want to help me buy more aftercare Nutella? Please consider supporting my work on Ko-Fi or Patreon

Things I Wish I’d Known Before Starting A Sex Blog

Hi! If you’ve found my blog for the first time via this post, my name is Morgan, and I’ve been sex-blogging since March, 2018. I can only imagine you’re here because either 1. You want to start your own sex blog or 2. You don’t, but you’re still really interested in the process of writing and running a sex blog. Either way, you’ve come to the right place! I’m going to share some things I wish I’d been told before starting up a sex blog, and I hope they’re of some use – or just interest – to y’all.

1. You will run out of ideas.

You may think this sounds impossible if you’ve just started to sink your teeth into the idea of sex blogging. “But Morgan,” you cry, “I have so many ideas! I filled two notebook pages with ’em!”

Yes, my beloved, it feels like you have so many ideas that you will never be stuck for inspiration. But then you’ll look at your list of potential blog titles, muttering, “Boring, played out, already covered that topic in a different post, boring, boring, irrelevant now,” until all you have left is some half-legible scribble that appears to only say Dick veins???

The thing is, when you first start thinking about putting together a sex blog, you’ll be excited, and you’ll probably brainstorm a whole bunch of topics that you could potentially write about. But, as that excitement mellows out a little, you’ll start to realise that some of them just aren’t viable, interesting or fun to write about. And you’ll have gotten used to having dozens of ideas in the pipeline, so once you’ve covered all your initial inspirations… you’ll be kind of stuck. It happens to everyone.

Everyone has a different way of overcoming it, though. Personally, I have been known to go through the alphabet, thinking of sex-related words for each letter and then thinking of whether I want to write about any of those. Other people recommend always carrying a notebook in case inspiration strikes, but I just use my phone – which then syncs everything to the ever-mystical Cloud so that my ideas don’t get lost down the back of an armchair.

The most important thing is to be kind to yourself, and acknowledge that this is a normal part of the sex-blogging learning curve. If you really wanna start a sex blog, you have to be prepared for the days you really don’t wanna write your sex blog.

2. It’s easier to start self-hosted than to change over later on

All the talk about self-hosting versus using WordPress or similar sounds technical and intimidating – as does actually going self-hosted. The only things I’ll say are: self-hosting is easier now than it has ever been, and I’ve never had a problem I couldn’t Google my way out of; self-hosting means your site won’t get removed for being naughty; it’s a pain to move your blog to any new URL once it’s established; nobody actually cares whether you’re self-hosted or not except for algorithms, you and your bank balance. Self-hosting isn’t hugely expensive, but it’s beyond some people’s budgets, and that’s fine! If you choose not to host your own site, nobody is judging you, I promise. (If they are, tell me and I’ll kick ’em in the shins for you.)

Basically: self-hosting has its advantages, and you should keep your options open where you can.

(You can also just buy the domain name you want to make sure nobody else snags it, go WordPress-hosted and save self-hosting for another time.)

3. Writing erotica is… weird. And not sexy

Okay, I’ve known this since before sex blogging, but it kinda feels weirder the wider your audience is. During my fanfiction days, I only had to worry about the responses of a handful of IRL friends and another handful of internet nerds who were just as confused about the mechanics of anal sex as I was. But knowing that nearly 1,000 people now see my weird sexy writing each month makes it all the harder to sit down in sweat- and menses-stained pyjamas and type the word “shaft” with a straight face. Finding words for body parts in erotica will have you cringing out of your skin, but d’you know what else will? When you get so deep into the flow of writing that you write something weirdly dirty or kinky, that’s uncharacteristic of you but that gives you a spiky little tingle in your pants. For me personally, the cringe factor overrides my arousal and I don’t use my own erotica to wank, but maybe you’ll find it less weird than I do upon starting a sex blog! I really hope so, ’cause it’s fucking weird!

4. It’s really rewarding to run a sex blog

For all the complications you might run into (internet weirdos crossing your boundaries, self-hosting stress and more!), starting a sex blog was so worth it for me. Every now and then, someone reaches out through my Contact Form or my Twitter DMs to tell me how much my writing has benefitted them – be it through helping them have better sex, teaching them something new or making them feel less weird and alone for being kinky/autistic/queer/etc. Those messages are what drive me to work on my SEO and site design, to help me reach as many people as possible – and they’re what you should be hoping for if you’re looking at starting a sex blog. Sex is super politicised in our culture, and you have to be aware that sex blogging is a political act – but one that can really, tangibly improve other people’s lives.

So, what are you waiting for? Go choose a cool pseudonym!


The pandemic and subsequent lockdown that’s going on right now means that I’ve lost a lot of work opportunities (because every other fucker at my agency is snagging jobs before I can). If you want to help me out, please do consider buying me a coffee or commissioning transcripts or captions from me!